My Senran Kagura Estival Versus Dream Team

It's no secret that I like Senran Kagura.  What is secret is the characters I like to use.  Before I start, I will say that these aren't the top five girls in terms of usefulness or even popularity.  These are MY personal favorites, based on a number of factors.  Also, I won't be including DLC characters, so (against every fiber of my being) Ryofu and Ayane won't be on this list.  Anyway, here are the five girls on my Estival Versus dream team.

5.  Mirai

It's an umbrella.  It's a gun.  It's an umbrella gun.

When she gets going you don't even have to move to defeat bosses in the one-on-one battles.  Just stand there and shoot like your life depends on it.  It's hilarious to watch the boss struggle to get to you, only to watch her go flying the moment she within three miles of you.  Good Stuff.

Bosses are almost defenseless against her umbrella gun.

Happy after a long day of blasting heads.

4.  Homura

Ready to curve up peons like turkeys.

She fights with six swords, three per hand, and slashes at anyone within reach like a female version of Wolverine on her menstrual cycle.  Plus, she has a cute ponytail and some funny interactions with the other girls.

Check those sick swords...and that sick ponytail.

Relaxing after slicing people up.

3.  Renka

Ready to bust heads and look hot doing it.

Just a well-designed character all around.  She's a drummer girl, who fights with giant drumsticks, and has a drum-based theme.  Heck, some of her move even has her beating on a magical drum while she's beating on enemies.  All of her traits seem carefully thought out and have good synergy.  Oh...and she's hot.  Just hot for no good reason other than for the sake of being hot.  Being hot is compounded by being eighteen.  Yep, she's an adult, so drool away, guys.

Marching to the beat of her own energy drum.

After beating on heads, she goes back to beating on drums.

2.  Ikaruga

Years of training has gone into this ass-whuppin'.

Possibly the coolest-looking character in the game.  Everything about her just looks cool.  Her outfit, her fighting style, her hair, everything.  And her theme is the most badass in the game.  Just cool.

One heck of an outfit.

A smile as big as her sword.

1.  Yumi

Ikaruga may look the coolest, but Yumi actually is the coolest.  She's a snow lady, which genuinely makes her the coolest.  Everything about her screams cold and ice.  Her appearance, her moveset, her outfit, her run animation, even her personality.  Also, she is the default guide (the voice you hear as you navigate the menus).

Icy cold death from above.

Yumi's ice surfing is the coolest run animation in the game.

Transformed and ready to go.

The Ice Queen never rests.

And there they are.  My Estival Versus dream team.  They may or may not be the most useful, most popular, or the cutest, but this is the team I ride with.  Like them?  Don't like them?  Who are your favorites?  Feel free to comment below.

Onechanbara Z2 Chaos Review (PS4)

Videogames can be so simple sometimes.  Zombies, violence, and scantily-clad women.  That's all there is to Onechanbara Z2 Choas.  Nobody ever said simplicity was bad.

Undead ass-beatings lie within.

In this game, you take the role of four women.  First, you have the mainstays of the series, the temptress Aya and foul-mouthed Saki.  They bring two others to the party, vampires Kagura and Saaya (no, that's not a typo).  These archenemies must come together to defeat a new breed of evil.

The four ravishing vixens you'll be playing as.

The gameplay is fast, fluid, fun, and simple.  You just select the order you want to use the girls in.  Then, you run around and kill every enemy you see.  If one of the girls is getting her ass kicked too much, just switch to the next girl and continue the fight.  Even with all four girls at your disposal, if you're careless you might take an ass-whuppin' and all four girls will be dead faster than you can say "g-string".  Yes, there is some level of challenge.  It's not just killing things and drooling over girls.

There is a little more to the game than mindless hacking and slashing, though.  Each girl has several weapons that you can switch between at any time.  The whole time you're fighting, these weapons will get covered in blood and will need to be cleaned.

The real fun, though, is when the girls themselves get covered in blood.  Yep.  With all the blood flying around, the girls are bound to get covered in it.  When the girls get covered in too much of it, they will turn into a berserk killing machine, doling out beatings and rape to all who dare to get near them.  However, you must be careful, because while in berserk mode your girl's energy will slowly drain and she CAN actually die from it.  You can revert the afflicted character by going to a goddess statue or she transform back over time, assuming she doesn't die first.  You can also keep her from going berserk by using statue fragments.  Of course you could also switch the girl out after she changes over (her energy won't drain while she's on the sidelines) and unleash her when you need to kill without prejudice.  The afflicted girl can get even more powerful with a mega-transformation for maximum butt-kicking powers.

The action can get pretty fast and crazy.

The graphics do their job.  The girls really do look hot, especially Kagura and Aya (sorry, but there's no getting around it).  Some of the imagery can be disturbing.  For example, there is an area where you fight where the ground is completely completely covered in blood.  It's pretty creepy.  Also, the enemies look good, especially the bosses.

Make no mistake, this is so creepy stuff.

The story is total BS.  It's almost in comprehensible.  Seriously.  You'll be going WTF the whole time.  This game is a sequel, so the first game may give you a better idea of what's going on, but in general, the Onechanbara series as a whole has a head-scratcher of a story.

Pretty nice looking game.

So the game looks and plays good.  What are the flaws?  It's too short.  The game ends just as it starts to get good.  It leaves you wanting more and not in a good ways.  It feels kind of cheap, like when Street Fighter 5 first came out.  Also, sometimes there's a little too much going on at times.  You just be hacking and slash when your girl will suddenly just drop dead, because you didn't realize you were getting it as good as you were giving it.  As mentioned earlier, watch your girl's energy and switch frequently to keep them alive.

What about the other stuff.  The music seems weaker than other games in the series, but it's still loaded with the fist-pumping energy a game like this needs.  On the sound front, we finally have English voices.  They may or may not be bad, but I can finally understand what Aya and Saki are saying and that trumps everything.  There is also a challenge mode, which adds a little more length for those left unsatisfied with the short story mode.  You can change the girls' outfits in coordinate mode, power up the girls and their weapons in battle settings, or just drool over them in gallery mode.  One thing that other titles in the series have that's mysteriously missing from this entry is survival mode, which also can have helped counter the short length.

Now THESE are good uniforms.

All-in-all, Onechanbara Z2 Chaos is a solid game.  It's short, yet violent and moderately-satisfying.  The action is fast and there are plenty of enemies to kill.  The girls die pretty fast, but the use of items and frequent switching can help on that front.  It's just mindless, over-the-top mayhem.  If you like female protagonists, skimpy outfits, and hilarious amounts of violence, this is your game.  I say check it out.

Senran Kagura: Estival Versus Review (PS4)

Senran Kagura gets sort of a bad rap.  To an extent, it's understandable.  I mean, let's look into what it is.  It's a game where you play as a girl and beat other girls until their clothes fall off.  These other girls won't take this lying down and will instead beat you until your clothes fall off if you allow them to.  It sounds kind of perverted, which can turn some people off.  This is a little sad, because there is actually a solid game underneath this exterior.

Upon getting into the game, you may be reminded of Dynasty/Samurai Warriors. You pick a character, beat on waves of peons, and occassionally fight a boss (who themselves are selectable characters).  You have weak attacks, strong attacks, jump attacks and other things.  It's monotonous, button mashing fun like the aformentioned Warriors games.

Sometimes you can barely find you own character because of all the peons.  Surprisingly, there's no slowdown.

Estival Versus isn't a total Warriors clone, however.  There are a number of differences that set it apart.  The most obvious one is that this game has an all female cast.  That's right.  Every character (main characters and peons alike) is female.  As such, you have the usual crap that comes with female characters interacting in manga/anime type settings.  That sisterspeak garbage, the attempted groping from the perverted girl, among other things are all present here.  Fortunately, it's not overdone in this game.

The next and possibly most important difference from the Warriors series is tone.  The graphics are cartoony and the action is lighthearted.  As a result, the sexuality doesn't come off as sexy, but funny, which is what I believe the developers were going for.  You'll hit peon with a combo, causing their clothes to explode Ikkitousen-style while sending them flying Team Rocket-style.

Beat the crap out of them and watch their clothing explode.

Continuing on, you also have the ability to use bombs, which can inflict maladies such as poison and freeze, to inflict even more pain on hapless victims.  The game even has cute little mechs (yes, really) you can ride, allowing you to dish out some major-league hurt.  The enemy may ride there own mechs into battle as well and yes, their hits hit badly.  You can also use transformations to wreck havoc on peons and bosses alike.  Bosses can also transform and put some major-league hurt on you as well, so be careful.

That mech may look cute, but don't laugh.  Those things are serious business.

As for those transformations, you have two.  The first changes your character into some magical-type girl.  While in this mode, your girl gets powers and her defense increases.  As for the second transformation...you strip your girl down to her underwear, which extends her combos and increases her attack power.  This second transformation is kind of pervy, but you could simply opt to not to use it.

Moving on, this game is long.  There's a lot to do, though most of it is the same.  You have a main story mode the spans nine days, forcing you to play as different characters to advance.  This can suck if you don't like a particular character because they have a crappy fighting style.  You can replay these missions with any character after you beat them.

There are also various difficulty settings you can play on.  The game isn't too difficult as long as you don't underestimate it.  Seriously.  You may be ready to for the hard difficulty, but if your girl isn't, you'll be walking into a vicious ass-whuppin'.

The scars of an intense battle, clearly visible.

On top of the main story, each girl has her own seperate story.  Things can get tough here, so make sure your girls are leveled up enough before delving into these.  Good luck playing as one one the crappier characters.  Once again, you can play these with any character once you've beaten them.

She's the coolest character in the game.  Literally.

As for everything else...it fits.  The graphics have that cute, anime look.  The music is playful, yet still intense enough for combat.  Some character themes, like Ikaruga's, are pure badass.  The story is what you'd expect; cute girls fighting and doing silly things.  The game is content heavy, with lots of stuff to find (creative finishers), buy in game (dat store though), and download (yay, Ryofu Housen and Ayane).

Look closely for familiar sights.

There is a library where you can listen to music and pictures you've unlocked and bought.  Also, you have a dressing room where a lot can go down.  You can dress the girls in outfits you bought from the store or put them in other girls' outfit.  You can chose any five girls you want and put them in various poses and states.  Or you can just drool over them, if you want (if you like girls like this).

All in all, Senran Kagura: Estival Versus is a pretty darned good game.  It's long, fun, and satisfying.  It has a big roster and only a few characters suck.  The DLC characters they added make it that much sweeter.  It can be repetitive and a little perverted, but it has too many other things going for it to recommend against.  Grow a backbone and play this one as soon as you can.

Nerd Battle: Chun Li vs. Mai Shiranui

Street Fighter's Chun Li.  Fatal Fury's Mai Shiranui.  Two of the most iconic women in videogame history.  In the 90's, there wasn't a nerd who didn't want to see these two go one-on-one.  Can you really blame them.  These are two of the most recognizable, powerful, and (let's face it) sexiest women ever in gaming.  Capcom vs. SNK was a two game series that made this fight happen.  However, there's nothing quite like a nerd battle, so let's get it underway.

Chun Li is the personification of power, grace, and beauty.  She trots out in her trademark blue dress and tights to kick opponents into submission.  She was all abut legs, whether it was her plethora of devastating kicks or just how sexy they looked.  She jumped off of walls, spun around like a helicopter, and even threw fireballs in later versions.

Mai Shiranui...um, sorry.  I was too busy drooling.  Anyway, she came out in little ninja outfit, boobs popping out, butt popping out.  She was (and still is) sexy.  There's just no getting around it.  Not just content to be hot, she was powerful as well.  Like Chun Li, she jumps off walls.  Unlike Chun Li, however, she fights with a fan, using it to set opponents on fire if they get too close or as a projectile if they try to keep their distance.

If you've read previous posts, then you know who will win in terms of looks.  Chun Li is hot, but Mai Shiranui as the hottest woman in videogame history.  Chun Li (and many others) just can't compete in that arena.

So with the looks already decided, who would win in a fight?  Just looking at the characters, some would automatically give this to Chun Li.  Whether it's because Chun Li looks tougher (she does) or Mai isn't wearing enough clothing (thankfully, she doesn't) is a mystery.  Either way, Mai gets underestimated.  Regardless of what's bouncing around or hanging out, Mai is a highly-skilled ninja who can trade blows with the best.  I'm not totally sure who would win, but the battle will be fought in the air as much as on the ground, because these women a highly mobile.  Chun Li still has the edge, but the fight could go either way.

Ironically, this battle will be decided after the last punch has been thrown and both women return to their respective corners.  Chun Li isn't the undisputed queen in Street Fighter.  Cammy and Juri could give her quite the beating if she's not careful.  In terms of looks, there is a lot of competition in Street Fighter.  Almost every woman in Street Fight has been the hottest woman in the series at some point.  Cammy, Sakura, Elena, Juri, Makoto, Rose, and others have all been considered hotter then Chun Li in some circles.  Heck, even C. Viper.  Freaking C. Viper!

Mai, on the other hand, is the undisputed queen of Fatal Fury and King of Fighters.  The women in these series' aren't scrubs, either.  She could lose to most of them in a fight, though she probably wouldn't.  In terms of looks, Fatal Fury has no real threats to her (sorry Blue Mary fans).  King of Fighters has some stiff competition, but they ultimately fall short.

So the winner of this Nerd Batte is Mai Shiranui.  She is at the top of her universe in terms of fighting and beauty.  Chun Li has the edge in fighting, but the gap isn't that wide.  Finally, Mai is simply better looking.  Agree?  Disagree?  Feel free to comment.

Ten Male Characters Who Need to be In DOA

Dead Or Alive is known as much for its fast combat as known as it is for its hot (and scantily-clad) females.  A pervious entry was about which women from other franchises should be added.  Of course it can't just be all hot chicks.  It's the men's turn now.  Let's take a look at ten men who need the DOA treatment.

10.  Kyo Kusanagi (King of Fighters)

The addition of Mai Shiranui from King Of Fighters deserves to be accompanied by the addition of an equally cool guy.  The guy just has that DOA look.

9.  Lion Rafale (Virtua Fighter)

They already have Virtua Fighter characters.  Why not add one more?  They could bring him in with Eileen and have two new fighting styles from a universe their already borrowing from.  Perhaps he could be a rival for Brad Wong and/or Eliot.

8.  Lu Bu (Dynasty Warriors)

If they aren't going to add Ryofu Housen, why not add the badass she's based on.  They've already added a Warriors character with Ii Naotora, so it's feasible.  Ryofu would obviously be more appealing visually, but this popular beast of a man would be good if they wanted to add a monster.

7.  Zell Dincht  (Final Fantasy 8)

This hot-tempered badass could be a good addition.  When punches aren't good enough, he can bust out the wrestling moves.  Also, he looks cool with that face tattoo, kind of like a white Mike Tyson.

6.  King (Tekken)

A showdown between King and Bass could be epic.  His style is like a hybrid of Bass's and Tina's, so maybe he could grapple with her, too.

5.  Douglas Anderson (Kensei Sacred Fist)

Steven Seagal as a videogame character.  Nuff said.

4.  Balrog (Street Fighter)

Mike Tyson as a videogame character.  Nuff said.  Seriously, though, DOA needs a pugilist.

3.  Zangief (Street Fighter)

Another grappler to go at it with Bass and a Russian to pair with Bayman.  Has some interesting moves to could work in the DOA system.

2.  Vega (Street Fighter)

A short-ranged weapon-user to add a new, yet still believable element to DOA.  A good-looking guy to give female gamers something to drool over.  A speed demon who would fit in well with DOA's fast gameplay.  Vega has something for everyone.

1.  Heihachi Mishima (Tekken)

One of Tekken's most likeable major characters.  A showdown between him Raidou would be nice to see.  If a crossover between Tekken and DOA ever happens, he (or any Mishima for that matter) is essential.

Honorable Mentions

Dragonov (Tekken)

A scary-looking Russian to match up with Bayman.

Goh (Virtua Fighter)

A character who uses judo.  Admittedly, kind of difficult to use, but players who master him will be able to brag that much more when they start owning people.

Heinz (Kensei Sacred Fist)

Looks good enough for female players to drool over.  Looks manly enough for male gamers for male gamers to not be ashamed to play as.  Fighting style unique enough to add to the game.  Check, check, and check.

Steve Fox (Tekken)

A more realistic boxer than Balrog who would fit in a lot better.  I'll go as far to say he'd take Balrog's place on this list if Balrog didn't look like Mike Tyson.

Lei Wulong (Tekken)

Yes, he's similar in style to Brad Wong, but he's Jackie Chan as a videogame character.  Doesn't that some better than playing as some drunkard?

There it is.  Ten males who need to be in DOA and five honorable mentions.  Agree?  Disagree?  Leave a comment if you'd like.

5 Flaws In Dead Or Alive 5

Based on previous posts, you can tell I love Dead Or Alive 5, especially Last Round.  The game simply has it all.  Intense fighting, great mechanics, and of course hot girls and lots of hot outfits to put them in.  Still, every game has its flaws.  These are five things about DOA5 that suck.

1.  Why Doesn't Ryu Just Kill Everyone?

This is Ryu Hayabusa from the Ninja Gaiden series.  In Ninja Gaiden, he's killed countless demon and avoided death numerous times.  He's the ultimate ninja.  Yet, somehow in this realm, he can be challenged by any half-naked teenage girl with a chip on her shoulders.  This would be fine if he was different from the Ryu in Ninja Gaiden.  But he's the SAME guy.  Everyone else in this game should be nothing more than maggots to be stepped on by him.  This, however, is just a logic lapse and can be forgiven.

2.  Lei Fang's Wall Scream

Knock her into a wall.  Gyaaaaah!  Hit her with a combo while she's against the wall.  Gyaaaaah, gyaaaaah, gyaaaaah!  How can it possibly be so bad?  Bring your earplugs when fighting her on a walled stage.

3.  Where's Ryofu  Housen?

In a game where hot girls dominate, how is she not there?  Mai Shiranui is there, so it's not like they can't do it.  She wouldn't just be looks.  She's strong, too.  #RyofuinDOA

2.  Unfair Counter System and Stagger System

When you hit the computer with a combo, you have to pray it doesn't just counter out of nowhere.  When it hits you with a combo, there's no countering out.  You have to counter the first hit or suffer through the beating.  The stagger system is crap, because the computer will stagger you, wait until your character is almost done staggering, then hit you again, prolonging the stagger.  Honestly, it's better if they just knock you down so you can get right back in the fight, instead of watching helplessly as your moron of a character stumbles around like a drunkard.

1.  Story Mode

It's good that it's there, but the actual story sucks.  It's just a bunch of random events that don't make sense.  Some characters fight for reasons that a total bullshit (like Kokoro and Jahn Lee fighting over a broken vase).  Characters are just shoehorned in when the time could be devoted to more meaningful characters.  Nothing means anything until after the tournament, when the ninjas take over.  Heck, the tournament itself is rendered worthless compared to what thing ninjas are doing.  Story mode should have been done better, but at least you get it right out the box (isn't that right, Street Fight 5?).

So, as you can see, even a gem like DOA 5 has flaws.  It's nothing that can't be overcome, though.  Ryofu would be really (Really!) nice to see in the series, but she isn't necessary.  The counter and stagger systems can be overcome by becoming a better player.  Lei Fang's wall scream can be overcome by...not fighting her.  Ryu's sudden status as mortal can be overcome by forgetting he's a badass who can kill a fifty-foot statue in seconds.  Finally, the story can be overcome by not thinking too hard and realizing it's not that serious.  Yes, the game has its flaws, but nothing game-breaking.  Play this one as soon as possible, if you haven't already.

Nerd Battle: Class 0 vs Class 7

They're here.  A classroom full of badass teenagers who march onto the battlefield wearing red capes and making the streets run red with blood.  It's the mythical Class 0...or is it Class 7.  Uh oh!  It's time for a nerd battle.  In the red corner, hailing from Final Fantasy Type 0, it's Class 0.  Fighting out of the blue corner, from Trails of Cold Steel, Class 7.  Let's get this nerd battle started.

Purely based on numbers, Class 0 has the clear advantage, bringing fourteen members to the dance.  Class 7 tops out at eleven and that's if you include the teacher.  Seeing has as the is a battle between students, Instructor Sarah will have to sit, dropping Class 7 to ten members.

Fortunately for Class 7, this isn't just a numbers game.  Quality comes into play as well.  This is where Class 0 has the advantage.  Class 7 seems to be stronger on the battlefield.  They just don't seem to keel over as easily as Class 0.  Also, the kids other Class 7 generally seem more likeable with clearly defined personalities.  However, it's those same personalities that could case Class 7's downfall if they aren't careful.

Class 0 is a well-oiled machine, unified by a single goal.  Class 7 is filled with infighting.  Machias doesn't like Jusis, Fie and Laura are at odds, and poor Rean is run ragged trying to keep everyone friendly.  Even so, Class 7 is filled with people with the strength of five people from Class 0.  Machias' shotgun hits and Elliot and Emma's staves hit multiple targets.  Laura is a powerhouse who can take anyone from Class 0, except for Nine perhaps.  Fie may look tiny and cute, but she's walking death.

Class 0 has strong individuals as well.  Ace throws deadly playing card like X-men's Gambit on speed and would give anyone from Class 7 trouble.  Trey is deadly from long range and could take down a few people if left alone or if well-protected.  Nine is a pure tank, able to take a few hits before falling out.  Jack walks like he's holding in a dump, but whatever his katana hits dies, plain and simple.  King is dangerous, until he has to reload his guns.  No matter how strong they are, they can only target one opponent each, whereas as the kids from Class 7 each have skills that can wipe out multiple targets.

Assuming Class 7 stays in line, Class 0 has no chance in combat.  Each member of Class 7 is simply too strong.  Fie can sneak into Class 0's backline and take out Deuce, Cater, and possibly King, but she must take down Trey or it's going to be a long fight.  Gaius would pair of with Nine in a spear dual, which could go either way.  Under no circumstances can anyone from Class 7 allow Cinque or especially Jack to get within striking range.  Cinque seems to struggle with her weapon and Jack simply don't move fast enough, but they can't be underestimated.  Rean must pressure Ace hard or a few of Class 7's members will fall.  Laura's isn't as deadly as Jack, but she will rape anyone she gets close to.  Class 0 has to take out Laura early, but that will but hard with Elliot and Laura covering her.  Having taken down Class 0's backline, Fie can help Jusis with a pincer on Cater.  Machias can mop up anyone who's left.  Assuming Gaius lost his duel (a huge assumption), Nine is all alone and Class 7 hasn't even deployed Crow yet.  It's acamdemic at that point.

Class 7 wins this battle.  Yes, Class 0 is filled with badasses, but Class 7 are monsters.  They are just too strong for the fragile characters in Class 0 to handle.  Class 0 can probably take down three of them tops, but it will probably a clean sweep.  Class 7 has fewer members, but more of everything else, doing more with less.

Do you agree?.  Disagree.  Make your voice heard.  Feel free to comment.