Tekken 7 Review (PS4)

Tekken.  A long-lived series of fighting games, it is to 3D fighting games what Street Fighter is to 2D fighting games.  That's to say it's the standard-setter.  3D fighting usually doesn't get much better than Tekken.  The series had enjoyed amazing highs (Tekken 3) and depressing lows (Tekken 4), but 23 years later, it's alive and well.  If it wasn't, Tekken 7 wouldn't exist.

As mentioned before, Tekken 7 is a 3D fighting game.  The thing that makes it unique is that each limb is assigned a button.  You have left punch, left kick, right punch, and right kick, all with devoted buttons that you can set up yourself.  This method works well and makes performing combos feel satisfying.  It's been working for 23 years.  Why fix something that isn't broken?

Unlike Josie's leg here, the gameplay isn't broken.

There is a nice number of characters, with plenty of new characters, such as Shaheen and Josie.  There are neat updates on old characters on old characters, like Nina armed to the teeth in a wedding dress.  As you might expect, there are some subtractions.  For me, Julia Chang (not that piece of crap Jaycee) and Lei Wulong  (yay, Jackie Chan) are huge losses.  On the other hand, garbage characters like Alex/Roger and Zafina are gone.  Yet they kept other garbage characters Kuma/Panda and Alisa.  Oh, well.  You win some, you lose some.

We lost characters like Lei Wulong and Julia Chang for a piece of crap like this.  Just look at her.

Here comes the bride, decked out and ready to kill.

Hot women are present and accounted for.

Staying on the subject of characters, the single biggest addition is Akuma from Street Fighter.  He's really there and he's not just passing through, either.  He's a major player in the story and woven into the very lore of Tekken.  In other words, he's canon.  He doesn't play EXACTLY the way he played in Street Fighter, but you won't be able to tell the difference.  He has everything he had in Street Fighter.  Fireballs, hurricane kicks, and even his super moves are all present and accounted for.  His transition was well done for the most part.  He can be cheap and overpowered, though, so bring plenty of patience (and a willingness to sidestep a lot) when fighting him.

Akuma is a bigger fish than any of the original addition, like Gigas and Shaheen.

There are other characters, such as Geese Howard from King Of Fighters, with Final Fantasy 15's Noctis on the way via DLC.  Additions like Akuma, Geese, and Noctis give a sense that literally ANYTHING can happen.  Who will they (and other fighting games) add next?

The story mode is divided into two sections; the main story and the character story.  The main story is short, sweet, and tight.  They involved only the major players (including Akuma), opting not to shoehorn everyone in like Tekken 6.  It isn't without it's flaws, mainly the fact the fighting picks up right where the cutscenes leave off.  I mean EXACTLY where the cutscene ends.  If you're not paying attention, you will take plenty of cheap shots simply because you didn't realize the cutscene ended and the fight began.  Also, they missed the opportunity to perhaps make Asuka a major player like she should be.  She's a Kazama (a family closely associated with the Mishima family), but she's treated like a joke, trapped her in a lame feud with Lili.  Jun was (still is?) a Kazama and Jin's last name is Kazama and are/were major players.  What's wrong with putting Asuka in the family feud?

Learning when a cutscene ends and a fight starts is key to ass-whoopin' prevention.

Character stories, on the other hand, are pretty shitty.  Each character only gets one fight.  ONE!  This may be okay in the case of Nina Williams and Steve Fox, whose stories and relation to each other should be well-known to Tekken veterans.  They do create some intrigue, but one lousy fight is pretty short.  Three to five fights per character would have been nice to build up new character connections and rivalries.

On to the other stuff.  The graphics are among the best in the series.  There is some weird stuff, like hair that defies physics and clothes going through characters' bodies, but as a whole, the game still looks good.

Josie kicks Xiaoyu so hard, her coat phases through her own leg.  I wonder if that hurts.

The music varies from solid to pretty good.  The G Corp Helipad theme and the Mishima building themes are darned good.  Even better is the Jukebox Mode, where you can listen to music from previous games in the series.  You can even put together a playlist (or three), select what music you hear during gameplay and when you here it.  So if you decide the music from Tekken 7 sucks, just select the music from another game or multiple games.  A nice touch.

With TEN games represented, you won't struggle to find good music.

As for other game modes, they are okay.  Arcade Mode is what you'd expect.  Beat ass until the boss comes along, then beat their ass, too.  Treasure Mode is essentially Survival mode and is how you earn money and random items to customize the characters with.  It's BS, though, because you earn so little money per fight and don't what you'll unlock or who you'll unlock it for.  If you can get online, join a tournament to earn money faster.  Sadly, there's no Tekken Force Mode as of yet.  Maybe they'll bring it in via DLC.

Then, of course you have customize mode.  It's weak compared to Tekken 6's Customize Mode, but it works.  Some of the items are decent, while others are silly and plain shitty (like the headwear items).  Much like with the characters, you win some and lose some.  You can still make some solid changes that don't look stupid.

Nothing's hotter than a girl with a rose in her hand and a pizza on her back.

In the end, Tekken 7 is a solid game.  Just solid.  The Tekken gameplay is still there, with miniscule differences you may or may not notice.  There are decent additions, crappy additions, and questionable omissions.  The main story is short yet satisfying, but the character stories are too short.  If you like Tekken, you'll have fun.  Make sure to check it out.

Videogame Hotties: Josie Rizal

Do you like models?  How about kickboxers?  Then fire up Tekken 7 and meet your dream girl.  Her name is Josie Rizal, the kickboxing model.

Josie Rizal, a stylish fighter.

Josie is a new addition to the Tekken family.  She seems to take Christie Monteiro's exotic look and fashion sense and Bruce Irvin's outfit and fighting style to create a brand new character.  Simply put, this one girl wiped out two characters and rendered them redundant simply by existing.  Was it worth losing a hot girl like Christie AND a great striker in Bruce?

That depends.  She doesn't seem as hot as Christie or as effective as Bruce.  But she's still far above an average fighter.  I mean, how many women can punch out a bear?

Seriously...she knocked out a bear with her bare hands.

When it comes to looks, she's not an ugly girl.  Whereas there was some debate as to whether or no Christie was hot or ugly, Josie is undoubtedly at least cute.

Cute doesn't mean weak.  Just ask poor Katarina.

As a kickboxer, you have to have two thing: good shorts and strong legs.  Josie has them.  Look at those neat shorts...or maybe it's a skirt.

Shorts or skirt?  Perhaps a skort?  You be the judge.

And look at those legs.  Those long, strong...(drools)...huh?  Was I saying something?

Legs so strong, even bears must succumb.

Anyway, moving on.  No kickboxing outfit is complete without gladiator sandals.  Yes, they are fine.

Kicking ass in style with a good pair of sandals.

But if you want a more professional look, just take them off.  She can still can in plenty of faces without them.

Ask poor Xiaoyu if this kick hurts any less just because Josie's barefoot.

And that's Josie Rizal.  If you need a cute girl who can punch out bears, she's the one you want.  Check her out in Tekken 7.

Grand Kingdom Review (PS4)

Grand Kingdom is a game that players will love and hate at the same time.  You love the throwback graphics.  You'll hate how small everything looks.  You love the gameplay mechanics.  You'll hate the BS that comes with the mechanics.  You'll love the game's length.  You'll hate the hours of grinding.  That's the way Grand Kingdom is.  For everything it gives you to enjoy, it turns around and kicks you in the balls with something else.

The premise is that you play as a some guy with no face, voice, or body and lead band of mercenaries through numerous battle, all while being lead around by a pair of badasses who don't do any fighting.  It's worth noting that without a body, your character doesn't fight, either.  Instead, you put together said band of mercenaries and have them do the fighting.  This is where the fun begins.

Move your "chess piece" around a board full of enemies, obstacles, and even helpers.

Upon meeting an enemy "chess piece", their leader gets a fairly cool intro.

Combat is fought on three planes.

After the initial tutorial disguised as a battle, you will have the ability to hire your own band of mercenaries from whatever jobless bums the game decides to give you, each with his or her own strengths, weakness, and abilities.  Maybe you'll get lucky a the game will give a beastly unit early on.  Yep.  You are given a totally random set of characters to choose from after every mission and there's a chance you'll get a few godly characters if you know what to look for.  You can hire of to fifty of these guys, so don't be afraid to take a chance, just to see what someone can do.  If you decide a unit is garbage, you can simply fire them later and replace them with someone better.

Continuing with the units you can hire, there are fifteen different job classes and some are definitely better than others.  All have their uses, though.  For example, the Paladin is a pure tank, having the crappiest movement in the history of videogames, but he can take a hellacious beating without flinching.  The Dark Knight can deliver quite a beating, but falls apart like wet toilet tissue when he's is hit, despite wearing full armor.  The Dragon Mage will pretty much rape whatever you pair her off against.  You'll get a chance to edit the appearance, voice, and stats of anyone you hire.  The enemies will have access to these same classes, as well as monsters, so they can deliver the same beating you can.

The coveted dragon mage.  Careful, though as she takes up two unit spots.

Hit "square" to learn about your character's job class.

As mentioned before, you can hire fifty characters.  You can put together six teams with up to four members each, meaning some characters will undoubtedly get left out of the action.  The key to winning is to build balanced parties, but you can structure these parties anyway you want.  You want a party full of slow-moving Paladins who look the same?  You can do that.  You want a party with nothing but women?  You can do that, too?  Perhaps you'd like a party with nothing but long ranged fighters.  Go for it.  But, just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

What do I mean?  Some characters have bad synergy.  Characters may not move the way you hoped, blocking off the attacks of other characters.  This means some characters won't be able to attack at all because of the turn order.  If by chance you do get a strong shield of a frontline to protect your backline, you'd better beware of using big, sweeping attack.  This is because your characters can hit each other, breaking the guard of any allies they hit and potentially turning them away from the opponent.  So your characters might die because they get raped twice, first by their own allies, then by the enemy.  It's BS.  Make sure your sure you check the characters' speed (which determines turn order) to prevent screw ups.

Ranged attackers can be frustrating at times.  If you use the wrong attack, you'll mow down your meatshields with a lightning bolt or an arrow to the back of the head.  Not only that, some of these attacks have a charge time, meaning your enemy may be able to move out of the way depending on how the turn order plays out.  The ranged attacks that can go past your allies require good positioning and successful successive button presses to pull off.  If you're to slow or fast with your button presses, you won't get the fullest out of these attacks.  If you position your character wrong, you risk hitting an ally.  It's as big of a headache as possible.

While moving around the board, you'll have to watch the turn count (if the mission has a turn limit), TP (which enables you to use techniques on the board, and morale (which affects your party's performance).  There are also invisible enemies, bounty heads (the gold "chess pieces"), traps and weapons (which damage you if a battle starts in their attack radius, among other things that want to mess up your day.

Not everything is bad, though.  You might randomly encounter a "friendly" enemy who will reward you for helping them or beating them.  You could also encounter some shady-looking guy who will sell you an item.  This guy is not to be confused with merchants, who will sell you a bunch of stuff if you have the money.  There are also some medic girls who may heal you for free or be a bitch, depending on which one shows up.  On top of that, make sure you gather resources so you can visit towns to make weapons and power up characters.

Time for the other stuff.  The graphics remind me of a little of Odin Sphere.  In other words, they're darned good 2-D graphics.  The music is a mixed bag.  The battle themes seem too upbeat, but they're neat songs as a whole.  If you have an internet connection, you have access to other stuff.  Not much wrong here.

This whole scene is just cheesy enough to make you feel good.

Grand Kingdom is a one of those games that's hard to judge.  As mentioned earlier, it does as much wrong as it does right.  It can be challenging to put together a balanced winning team with good synergy, but when you do, you'll have fun.  The music won't get on nerves, but being able to hit your allies will.  You'll have to grind to beat some of the more powerful enemies, so bring plenty patience.  Check it out.

Summon Night 6 Lost Borders Review (PS4)

It's raining men...and women...and chocolate chip cookies.  Summon Night 6: Lost Borders is an ambitious game to be sure.  But is it good?  Let's find out.

Summon Night 6: Lost Borders is a strategy roleplaying game in what seems to be a long-running series of games.  Being an SRPG, it plays similar to games like Final Fantasy Tactics, Fire Emblem, and others.  So, it already has the good fortune of being in my favorite videogame genre.

As for the game's own gameplay, it's not bad.  You trot your characters off into battle and beat on cute little monsters.  The game throws in a badass on occasion to keep you on your toes.  The game has a lot of characters, so in terms of numbers, you'll be satisfied.

The battles can be big, but they're quick.

On the characters, the subtitle "Lost Borders" says it all.  This is a crossover game, featuring characters from previous entries in the series.  You have badasses, bratty kids, a few cute girls, and an idiot or two sprinkled in there.  They all can be upgraded into specialized beast to beat on all the cute little monsters you see.

Badasses and idiots, present and accounted for.

Three problems with the characters, though.  First, most of them come off as childish, immature, or just plain idiotic.  Even the adults seem like kids.  Second, if you (like me) have not played a previous entry in the series, you won't know who the heck these characters are or the worlds and events they are referring to.  Not to worry though, because they explain everything, which this leads to the third problem.  These characters are talkative.  Really talkative.  Too talkative.  There were times I wanted to say, "Shut up so I can kill something!"  They should have called the game Summon Night 6: Too Much Talking.

Even the game admits it talks too much.  Amu's face says it all.

I guess I can still forgive the excessive dialogue because the game's story is a mind-twister.  There's time travel here, alternate dimensions there, a dash of mind control, and confused characters everywhere.  As a crossover game, everyone has to figure out how they got to Fillujah (not Fallujah) and how they can get back to where they belong.  Some characters are different versions of people that other characters know.  The natives of Fillujah, on the other hand, have to figure out how they came to be and what Fillujah is, adding a pinch of mystery.  If (unlike me) you don't care about story, though, you can just skip the cutscenes.

Even a native like Amu doesn't know about much about Fillujah.

On to the other stuff.  The graphic are kind of cute and cartoony.  The monsters don't look intimidating.  Oddly, it's the human characters that will give you pause, as most of them were apparently badasses in previous games in the series.  There music is hit or miss and there is a lot of it.  The voiced cutscenes (as opposed to the text-only cutscenes) make the some of the dialogue tolerable.  There's an in-game encyclopedia call Eucross HQ that can tell you more about the characters (as if they won't) among There's a decent amount of stuff here.

Just a sample of the cute little monsters to be killed.

Summon Night 6: Lost Borders like having a friend who talks too much.  The dialogue can be funny, especially when characters like Amu and Bulrell come into the picture and start acting like assholes.  There's just simply too much of it.  However, when the fighting starts, you'll have fun.  If you have the patience to get through all the talking, you'll find a competent SRPG in this game.  Check it out.

Cool Hotties: Amu

Do you like loners who are good at shooting monsters.  Summon Night 6: Lost Borders may have the girl for you.  Her name is Amu, a badass with a big gun.

Aesthetically, Amu has it all.  Long hair?  Check.  Big gun?  Check.  Short dress?  Check.  Long legs?  Double check.  Physically, she's everything you want in a fictional female.  Plus, she carries herself like that chick you don't want to mess with.

That is one short dress.

This is how Amu deals with cute little monsters.

Look at how she has that gun slung over her shoulder.  Badass.

But she's so much more than looks.  After all, what use is a big gun if you can't use it.  And she can.  Seriously, how many people do you know who can handle a gun that big with one hand?

No matter how big, all monsters fall to her gun.

She's also good at less violent things, like catching fish and cooking them.  She can cook them up in many ways.  She is certainly capable of surviving.  Stupid is one thing she isn't.

Time for a little fishing at the cove.

Growing up alone on Fillujah, she doesn't really know how to interact with people very well.  As a result, she can be kind of a bitch to her friends.

Amu being a bitch.

Amu being a bitch...again.

It's not that she's a bad person.  It's just that she literally has had never met another person before the start of the game.  But she's not completely devoid of compassion, understanding, and emotions.

What a lively victory pose.

See?  She has emotions.

Amu and Quilt share a moment.

And that's Amu, the badass who still knows how to be a girl.  She can be a bitch, but if have patience, being with her will be a rewarding experience.  Check her out in Summon Night 6: Lost Borders.

Otomedius Excellent Review (XB360)

There nothing like a good side-scrolling shooter.  There should be intense action, lots of shooting, and anime girls straddling guns with handlebars.  What?  That's Otomedius Excellent in a nutshell.

Anyone who's ever play the Gradius series will instantly be familiar with the gameplay.  First you select a girl and pick what weapons you want her ship to have.  Then you engage in intense shooting action, trying not to get hit by anything.  Don't let the cute anime girls fool you. It's harder than it sounds.  Unless you have Jedi reflexes, you will get your ass kicked a lot.

Which girl you choose goes deeper than aesthetics.  Different girls have access to different weapons.  You can unlock more weapons as you beat level but you can't use them until you beat the game.  Some even have a special weapon other girls can never get.  Also, the order of the power-ups might be different.  For example, Speed is usually the first power-up. but with some girls, it's (strangely) the third.  So knowing what you'll get and when you'll get it should be apart of your strategy.  There are plenty of girls and weapons to choose from, so you can put together some powerful combinations.

Just one of the many girls you can blast through the game with.

There are a lot of weapons of varying power levels.

Each level starts off with an easy section in space, where you will have a chance to power up your ship.  Then, the real level begins and you'll be torn a new butthole within seconds.  The biggest reason why is because there's simply too much stuff to dodge.  On top of that, every time you die you reset to nothing, making you a slow weakling waiting to be raped.  With practice, you can get through entire levels without getting hit.  Even if you don't, you have unlimited continues and you'll need each and every one of then.

At the end of every level you fight a big battle ship being piloted by none other than...a cute anime girl.  Some are easy, some are hard, but all have your annihilation in mind.  Some are unfairly cheap, with unavoidable attacks (like that trollop at the end of Level 2).  Never fear, though.  If you can't kill the boss in within a certain period of time, she flies away, letting you advance to the next level.  This is bullcrap, leaves you feeling unsatisfied, and (coupled with unlimited continues) takes away the need to actually become better a player.

The graphics can be good or bad at the same time.  As mentioned before, the screen gets awfully cluttered.  Things you can see often mask things that are barely visible.  There are these weird transparent enemies that will kill you unless you realize they are enemies.  This is really a problem in some levels, as the background can even work against you.  Some enemies can travel right through solid surfaces and by the time you realize that, it's too late.  Enemy bullets can blend in with the background.  Sometimes, enemies will just materialize out of nowhere, you will take plenty of cheap shots.  This is BS, but it does keep you on your toes, which DOES contribute to being a better player.

The music is intense and energetic with some cute, girly, and nerdy vibes mixed in for good measure.  The soundtrack also features a few remakes from Gradius for a bit of nostalgia.  Good music is what any shooter needs.  Often times, you'll have to chose between rocking your head to the music or getting shot to ribbons by everything you can (and can't) see.

Now, for the other stuff.  There is DLC you can download to extend the life of the game.  You can also try different difficulty settings.  Obviously, you can try your luck with different girls and weapon set-ups.  There's also the constant challenge of trying to avoid getting hit and kill all of the bosses instead of just watching them fly off.

So, what the final breakdown?  It's it fun, but flawed shooter.  There is a lot of BS (ghost enemies and bullets you can't see), but there is some bona fide challenge mixed in for nice balance.  Good music, lots of characters, and lots of weapons will keep you coming back...if you can stomach the cheapness of the enemies and bosses.  Try it with caution.

Five Sequels/Spinoffs/Updates That Need to Happen

Everyone has a game or games that they loved so much that they wanted a sequel that never happened.  Others have a game they loved that they wanted to see a remaster or even full-on remake.  These are five sequels or updates that would make me a very happy gamer if they happened.

5.  Kensei Sacred Fists

Kensei was an underrated gem of a 3-D fighting game that had the nerve to try to compete with Tekken 3.  No doubt, Tekken 3 was the better game, but Kensei was something a little different.  The game suffered from blocky graphics and a non-existent story.  What the game had going for it was rockin' music, lots of characters and good designs for those characters, and a ton of bone-breaking action.  It also had one of my favorite game girls, the ugly but somehow still cute Saya Tsubaki.  A remaster or total remake of this game with overhauled music and graphics could be good.  Plus, they could give the characters stories so players know why these people are fighting (and actually care for them as a result).

4.  A Third Fire Emblem Radiance Game

Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance for the Gamecube and Fire Emblem Radiant Dawn for the Wii are two of my favorite games of all time and probably my very favorite SRPGs of all time.  Some of my favorite characters (such as Oscar and Ilyana) and music (the Black Knight's battle theme) come from this series.  It would be nice to see this series continue in some form.  Perhaps an old, grizzled Ike could train up the next generation of heroes to tackle a new threat or something like that.  Hopefully, things won't get too convoluted or nonsensical.

3.  Dead Or Alive All-Female Edition

Dead Or Alive is a series where the women take front and center.  The Xtreme Volleyball series is has an all female cast, but that's nothing more than a bunch of hit or miss minigames.  What I'm talking about is a one-on-one fighting game featuring just the females, which a few guest characters to fill out the roster.  It should keep the fast and brutal feel of DOA, not turn into something silly.  This would be a good opportunity to bring in characters like Ikkitousen's Ryofu Housen and Tekken's Asuka Kazama to hint at possible crossovers.  They could also have female representations of the male's fighting styles so those styles won't be missing.

2.  Lost Dimension 2

Lost Dimension is a unique SRPG that tried a few new things that no other RPG (that I've played, at least) tried, most notably the Judgement System.  It would be nice to see a sequel that improves these things and maybe adds new things beyond that.  The possibilities...

1.  Lost Kingdoms 3

From Software and Activision need to get together again to give this series one more try.  The first Lost Kingdoms was flawed and frustrating, but fun.  Lost Kingdoms 2 improved everything from the original and added to it.  It was superior in every way.  How much would Lost Kingdoms 3 have improved things?  Hopefully, an answer comes soon.

There you have it.  Five franchises that I would like to see remake, updated, or continued in some fashion.  Agree?  Disagree?  Have something to add?  Leave a comment and be heard.