Peach Beach Splash Water Guns

Senran Kagura Peach Beach Splash is a shooter starring the girls of Senran Kagura.  Girls, swimsuits, and trading cards are all apart of the action.  Heck, even the girls' weapons are present, though they aren't nearly as important here as in other games in the series.

But make no mistake.  Peach Beach Splash is all about the water guns.  These guns determine how you run, how you jump, and obviously how you shoot.  More often than not, it's the gun you choose, not the girl or the cards, that will make or break your chances at victory.

There are a lot of guns.  Some are good, some suck, and others are highly situational.  Let's break them down by usefulness into the ten basic types.

1.  Assault Rifle

The perfect combination of range and power, the assault rifle is the king of the water guns in this game.  It shoots fast, shoots for a long time, reloads fast, and grants the ability of flight.  Depending on how good you are at reloading in the air, you can flying indefinitely.  Range, speed, mobility, this gun has it all.  The shots are kind of weak, but the 3-shot function makes up for it.  It's the perfect gun, especially for beginners.

2.  Twin Pistols

The award for funniest reload animation goes to the dual pistols.  The first time you reload, you will laugh and say, "WTF is that girl doing?"  Your girl goes crazy.  But the gun reloads so fast, it has virtually no reload time.  It can fire for a long time if you set it to the Extra Ammo setting.  Firepower is the default setting, but it doesn't seem worth it.  The Jump Boost you get is pretty shitty because it's so hard to control where your girl lands. You do get some early laughs with an over-the-top slide for the running animation

3.  Gatling Gun

The Gatling gun lights up foes nicely, able to mow down multiple foes or any of the main girls in seconds.  It also gives its user the ability to fly, enabling you to rain down death from the above.  It doesn't have the indefinite(?) flight like the assault rifle and the shotgun, but it CAN fly.  If the enemy has one of these, watch out.  It does have one crippling weakness, though.  It's reload time is a bitch and there seems to be a slight delay, especially when it's completely empty.  If you have to reload when an enemy is near, you're up shit creek.  If not for the reload time, this would be the best gun.

4.  Spray Gun

Extremely deadly at close range.  Only close range.  This gun has the shortest range and the shots are very weak, but you'll fire off so many, it won't matter.  You can use Set to set a trap, which works like a poison cloud, raping any enemy who gets close.  It's good if you can sneak up on the enemy or chase them down.  It also gives your girl a cool run animation, which resembles someone strumming a guitar.  Sadly, you're stuck with the Jump Boost special jump.

5.  Grenade Launcher

Sends a water balloon bouncing along the ground that explodes, sending anyone nearby flying, doing nice damage in the process.  You can also set it so the water balloons explode on impact, which is good at close range.  It features the worst special jump; the Float Down.

6.  Pistol

Easy to use, but runs out of water too fast.  Also, it has that Jump Boost I'm not a fan of.  On the other hand, the shots hurt quite a bit and bounce off walls, hurting any enemy they hit.  Overall, it doesn't feel very satisfying to use.

7.  Shower Gun

The award for most confusing gun goes to this "gem" of a weapon.  It has an unappealing appearance, looking like a garden hose.  Also, the game says this gun has the same range as the assault rifle, but that's bullshit as far as I can tell.  But it can fly and has an some homing ability, so there's some good.

8.  Shotgun

Powerful, but somewhat difficult to use.  You have to be fairly close to hit with it.  It fires slow, but it does have a homing function and can fly indefinitely with mid air reloading, like the assault rifle.  Flying makes everything better...mostly.  The sliding run animation returns with this gun.

9.  Rocket Launcher

The default setting is a hard-hitting water rocket.  The second setting fires multiple homing rockets that are weaker, but still hurt plenty, especially if all three hit.  It takes what's good about both the shotgun and sniper rifle and combines them into one glorious gun.  However, not all is good.  It has that lousy Float Down special jump.

10.  Sniper Rifle

Obviously, distance is your best friend with this gun.  The sniper rifle has insane range and power, allow you to pick off targets from a fair distance.  As you'd expect, though, it runs out of ammo fast.  You can only get off two or three shots, before you run out of water and have to reload.  Otherwise, it seems inaccurate or like it doesn't always hit, even when it clearly does.  It can hit stationary targets or targets moving directly at you just fine.  An a game like this, where targets fly and buzz around like flies, you simply aren't going to hit anything, especially not one of the main girls.  But when it does hit, the enemy will do some primetime hurting.  Honestly, it's pretty worthless against the main girls, unless you're some sort of Peach Beach Splash god.  On a good note, you can fly with it, so that adds to the usefulness.

And that's the ten different types of water guns you can use in Senran Kagura Peach Beach Splash.  You can level the guns up or download guns that look like food, but they all fall into these categories.  Some are good, while others are shitty, but they all have their uses.  Hopefully, this post is helpful to someone.

Videogame Hotties: Rin/Suzune/Miss R

She's skilled.  She's mature (sort of).  She's got purple hair.  It's Rin/Suzune/Miss R of Senran Kagura.

Senran Kagura is a series filled to the brim with girls.  Sadly, there's a shortages of adult females.  That's where Rin/Suzune/Miss R comes in.  Finally, a grown woman to drool over.  She's not just some barely legal thot like Renka or Yumi (begs Renka and Yumi for forgiveness).  No.  She's in her mid-20s.  In other words, a grown ass woman.  So, how does she stack up to her younger counterparts?

In a cast full of teenage girls, Rin is a breath of fresh air.

Well, she certainly does, in fact, stack up in the most obvious way.

She has a lot to offer in the "chest department".

Yet she's still intimidated by the youth of the others for some reason.

A hot woman in her mid-20s wants to look like a teenager?  Goodbye, logic.

Her lust for her perverted co-host doesn't help her insecurity.

Not sure what she sees in Kiriya, but she loves the man.

Her taste in men may suck, but she has good taste in clothes.

She can be a teacher...

...or a ninja, but...

She's not always good at keeping them intact, though.

...she can also be a half-naked teacher...

...or a half-naked ninja.

She cares for the environment.

Die, burning barrel, die!

She's not afraid to get her legs dirty.

She's going to feel this in the morning.

Or crying.

Even fetish ninja teachers have to cry.

She can still break out the swords when she needs to.

It takes some skill to pull this off.

She certainly isn't afraid of kissing.

Where's a VR headset when you need one.

And she can strike an intimidating pose.

Harassment will not be tolerated.

But, she isn't immune to being embarrassed.

Water makes people act strangely.

Nothing's more embarrassing than the dreaded "cat pose".

And after all that, she still knows how to relax.

Just a lazy day on the beach for Rin.

And that's Rin/Suzune/Miss R.  If you like teachers, women in glasses, or female ninjas, she's the woman for you.  Check her out in various Senran Kagura titles, including Peach Beach Splash.

Senran Kagura Peach Beach Splash Review (PS4)

I've been a Senran Kagura fan since...well...Estival Versus.  In other words, not very long.  The point is, I liked Estival Versus and had been looking forward to the next game in the series ever since.  That's when Peach Beach Splash came along.  Does it take Senran Kagura to the next level or is just some stupid game with a lot of girls?  Let's find out.

As you may have deduced, Peach Beach Splash is another Senran Kagura game, starring all of the characters you know and love.  Even a few there are you may or may not know.  Either way, there are a lot of characters to choose from, so we're off to a good start.  Some are good, some are shitty, some are cringy, you know how it is.

Beware the Goddess of Cringe.

After this, however, Peach Beach Splash goes in a completely different direction.  The girls trade in their ninja gear for bathing suits and their swords for water guns.  Yep.  It time to pick your favorite girl and compete in Non-Mortal Kombat.

The story seems more focused than Estival Versus.  The girls generally do less silly stuff in a setting that's even sillier.  There's no panty eating or butt splitting here.  Some of these girls are going through some genuine conflict.  Sadly, the individual character stories aren't here, but they are replaced by something similar with the Paradise Episodes.  Finally, you have the V-Road Challenge, where you plow through numerous teams until you win the PBS tournament.

These girls are going through some real shit this time around.

Who's this creepy MFer?  You'll have to play to find out.

The gameplay is totally different from Estival Versus.  You still fight the other girls and countless fodder.  Instead of hacking and slashing them, you're shooting them with water until they explode.  It's pretty simple. 

Also, it's not Senran Kagura without some good old-fashioned humiliation.  Clothing (if the characters are wearing any) gets torn Ikkitousen-style until the girl is reduced to her underwear.  Instead of Creative Finishes like in Estival Versus, you have Squirmy Finishes, which enable you to shoot off your unfortunate victim's clothing, triggering a scene where the character is either topless or bottomless (don't worry, it's censored) or just embarrassed to be sprayed so much.  It's not as fun as the Creative Finishes, but it's not totally pointless (probably).

I can't show you what happens after this...

There is also the heart guage, which saves you from mission failure if you run out of hit points.  It's easy to get blasted into oblivion, especially if several of the main girls get together to gang rape you.  Be careful, though, as you can only respawn three times before you fail.

Try not to run out of hearts on your way to victory.

You also have cards that you can use to do various things in battle.  Some summon tornadoes, some buff you/debuff opponents, and other put up barriers/break down opponents barriers.  Cards can turn the tide of battle.  Heck, you even use cards to power up your girls and weapons between levels.

Perhaps they overdid it with the cards.

One aspect of the gameplay that initially threw me off is the water gauge.  You can only shoot so much water before your guns run out (this is what makes the sniper rifle a pain to use).  If you stop shooting, the gauge will eventually refilled, but the best way to refill it is to shake your gun.  This is dangerous, as when things get intense and you run out of water, you'll get raped by whoever you were shooting at.  Make sure you find a safe spot to reload and you'll be fine.

This annoyed me to no end when I first started playing.

The water gauge doesn't just affect your ability to shoot, but your ability to run and use your special jump as well.  Some guns enable you to fly, some let you fall slower, others give a jump boost.  They all use up water. You can, however, do some creative stuff in the heat of combat by utilizing these tools, though.  It's good fun to fly to the top of the arena with Yumi, then drop down, bringing watery death with you.

You can rain down death...

...but it can be fun to just fly around sometimes.

As for the water guns, they are divided into ten different types.  Some of these water guns are godly (assault rifle), while others border on unusable (sniper rifle).  The guns have each have some passive benefits and can be freely equipped on any girl.  So, if you want to equip everyone with assault rifles, go ahead.  Just keep that in mind they'll have those same guns equipped when you're playing against them.

As for outfits, the girls aren't just relegated to swimsuits.  You can choose to dress them in any outfit or swimsuit you have available by going to the Dressing Room/Shower.  Want to put Yumi in sweatsuit?  Go ahead.  Perhaps you'd like to put Homura in a red thong?  That option is available, as well.  You can edit the girls and their clothes in a number of ways, so play around and find a look that works for you.

If you ever can tired of seeing the girls in swimsuits...

...feel free to change it up.

On to the other stuff.  The graphics are a very slight step above Estival Versus.  The girls do look a tiny bit better, but those with an untrained eye won't really notice a difference.

The music fits, but is too happy.  This is understandable, consider the setting and the way things are carried out in this game, but the music is all happiness and no intensity.  Also, gone are those sweet character themes.

Then, you have the Dressing Room/Shower.  Dress-up is where you change outfits.  Diorama enables you to create cute scenes featuring up to five girls with a number of poses and backgrounds.  Intimacy will allow you to molest the girl of your choice until she gives in and offer you a kiss (no, I'm not joking).  The beauty of this game is that you can take pictures of your creations, which you inexplicably couldn't do in Estival Versus.

Finally, you can create and share scenes like this.

Besides the game itself, the No Shoe, No Shirt, Full Service Edition comes with the soundtrack, intros to previous games, and a book artwork to drool over (if you so choose).  There's also plenty of DLC, including characters from Ikkitousen.  There's no shortage of stuff here.

In the end, Peach Beach Splash is a fun game.  It took me some time to adjust to the game mechanics, but once I got into it, it was hard to stop playing.  There is some cringe-factor here, but that's to be expected from a Senran Kagura game.  There's some stuff they took away, but improved other stuff, so it balances out.  Overall, I still prefer Estival Versus, but this is a worthy addition to your game library if you like girl-heavy games.  Check it out.

Dragon's Crown Pro Review (PS4)

Remakes and remasters are all the rage these, especially on the PS4.  Gravity Rush, Valkyria Chronicles, Odin Sphere Leifthrasir are some particularly good ones.  Now, there is Dragon's Crown Pro, remake of yet one PlayStation 3/Vita classic, Dragon's Crown.  Does it continue the line good REs (not Resident Evil) on the PS4?  Let's find out.

Dragon's Crown Pro is a side-scrolling fantasy game where you pick a hero and beat ass in various dungeons.  There action feels like an arcade game, with short dungeons that end in with an intense boss fight.  It doesn't take long to go through a dungeon, perfect for those who have tight schedules or simply don't have hours to sit down and play games.

Bosses are epic and battle can get intense.

The characters are mostly different in terms of their playstyles.  Melee fighters get close and whup ass, spellcasters keep their distance and attack with magic.  Nothing you shouldn't be used to or not expect in this aspect.  However the game is not just simply walking from the left side of the screen, beating any ass that tries to stop you from getting to the right side.

Introducing our six protagonists.

The game is RPGish in its style.  You can put together a party from dead people you find or you can continue to go it alone.  You can ride select monster or stay on foot.  You can even choose to grind (a classic RPG past time) or try to win with the lowest level possible.

Pick up piles of bones to obtain new allies.

Another part of the gameplay lies in the thief that follows you around, whom you can somewhat control with the touchpad or the right stick.  You'll need him to unlock door and treasure chests.  He doesn't fight and runs offscreen when enemies show up.  He CAN be hurt, but I've never once seen him die.  Eventually, you'll also get a fairy, who will reveal passages, both hidden and unhidden.

This guy is with you from the onset, unlocking doors and chests, while picking up treasures you miss.

This Tinkerbell clone joins you later.

The touchpad and/or right stick can also be used to find hidden treasures to beef up your score after beating the level.  Simply hover the red finger over shiny spots and watch the treasures "poof" into existence.  This is better than the mechanic of the PS3 original where you have to move the finger with right stick, then you still have to press R3 to get the treasures to appear.

The gameplay can get intense, so much so that you may not be able to find your character.  For example, the screen will fill up with enemies and allies, causing you to lose track of your character.  Then suddenly, there will be a big explosion and your character will be sent flying.  The whole situation screams WTF?  The

Also, your allies are extremely stupid, especially when it comes to dealing with environmental hazards.  They run into traps that can easily be taken out with a few hits.  The dumbest thing I've ever seen allies do is run into fire and just stand there, dying within second.  Definitely some facepalm moments.

There's some comfort in having lots of allies, but they can be quite stupid at times.

On to the other stuff.  The graphics are standard Vanillaware fare.  That's a short way of saying they are some of the finest 2D graphics you'll see.  There's even eye candy and a little bit of disturbing stuff.  You won't get tired of looking at the game.

There's cool-looking stuff...

...disturbing images...

...and even a few treats.

The music fits, but it's not really my style.  Whereas Odin Sphere and Muramasa (also Vanillaware titles) had strong soundtracks that also fit with those games, I just wasn't feeling most of the music here.  The boss theme was easily the best track in my opinion.  Overall, there's nothing wrong with the music.  It just didn't jive with me.

In the end, Dragon's Crown Pro is a solid update to a solid game.  The gameplay is still the same, but the lesser things have been fixed.  Whether or not you already have the PS3 original, give this one a try.  Play it.

Don't Starve Mega Pack Review (PS4)

Well, it's time to pick a character, pack your stuff, and go camping.  Not exactly.  Let's dive into the crazy world of Don't Starve.

Don't starve is kind of a survival horror game, but not really.  There's a horror-like feel, though there's not really anything scary.  Just a little creepy, like Coraline or The Nightmare Before Christmas.  There's definitely some survival going on.  And dying.  Lots and lots of dying.

Your journey begins the moment your character steps through this creepy door.

As you might guess from the title, your goal is to not starve.  You'll have to look for food everywhere you can find it or you WILL starve.  Of course, starving isn't the only way you can die, as you can also be killed by monsters or "animals".  Heck, you can even die from being in the dark.  Nothing special.  Just the dark.

Even worse, you can die while the game is paused.  You can pause the game, but you have just enough time to take a piss before the game decide, "Well, you're dead."  If you want to take a break and not die, you have to exit the game and reload it when you come back.  This is bullshit and makes the game feel a little cumbersome.

No, this isn't a joke.  You WILL die if you leave the game paused.

Your character (whoever you choose) has the ability to create items from things you find around you.  Create weapons to fight and kill monsters and "animals", fires to stave off the dark and cook meat, clothes to wear, and machines that give you the ability to create even more things.  Just make sure you do it in a safe place, because you can be attacked while browsing the menu.

You'll need to make stuff to survive.

You also have the ability to edit every aspect of the world before you start playing.  Don't like the dark?  Turn it off.  Don't like monsters?  Turn them off.  Don't like food?  Heck, turn that off, too.  Conversely, you can turn off the day if you love the dark or increase food if you love food.  There are other things you can manipulate to give yourself the best (or worst) chance to survive.  The choice is yours.

You can literally edit every aspect of the world before diving in.

As mentioned before, you can select a character.  There is a healthy number of creepy-looking protagonists to choose from.  You choice isn't just cosmetic as the each character has at least one unique trait.  For example, there's an opera singer who starts of with a spear, but can only eat meat.  Another character can eat almost anything, but gets hurt by rain.  It's an...interesting selection of characters.

Choose your favorite from 11 characters.

You don't have to go it alone, either.  Just fire up that internet connection and you can try to survive with (or kill) your friends.  You can determine whether it's a dog-eat-dog world or a kumbaya society before you start, so there shouldn't be any surprises.

Whether you want a world fun of friends, bloodthirsty lunatics, or want to go it alone is up to you.

On to the other stuff.  The music is virtually nonexistent.  Outside of the title theme and character select theme, there are little 10-second nothings that pass as music.  Otherwise, it just ambient sounds.  And when the characters speak, they don't speak, so much as they make noise.  Anyone who has ever seen Charlie Brown and heard the adults talk will understand what I mean.

The graphics are delightfully creepy.  They are, however, a little too small.  Your first few forays into the world, you may find it hard to see what's going on.  You'll adjust...if you don't go blind first.

Make sure to watch out in the forests.  An ass-whuppin' could lie behind any tree.

Don't Starve Mega Pack is an interesting game with good replay value.  There are a lot of characters who aren't just the same as everyone.  The ability to alter the world before venturing in gives you the ability to see if you can survive under various conditions.  Also, the world (or at least your starting point) is randomly generated each time you start a new game, so no two play-throughs (to my knowledge) will be the same.  It's not for everyone, but is worth a look if you like creepy things and survival.  Give it a try.